Making noise, not getting anywhere.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Highway encounter

Nacht, aussen. Buntes Licht im Schee. Sirene.

Lautsprecherstimme: Get out of the traffic and park your car.

Ein Schnauzbartträger steigt aus der Highway Patrol Wagen. Der virtuelle Schnauzträger am Steuer des gestoppten Wagens lässt die Scheibe runter.

Schnauz: Get out of your car. You know why you got pulled over? For speeding. I need your license.
virtueller Schnauz: steigt aus. Speeding? Händigt den Führerschein aus.
S: scharf That's what I said. I didn't stutter. Sit on the passenger side.
V: schluckt, steigt ein
S: Where are you headed?
V: The Bay Area.
S: Do you have any idea what the speed limit is on this road under chain conditions?
V: Err.
S: It's obvious you don't, you don't give a damn. What do you think the speed limit might be?
V: Well, I thought it would be whatever is reasonable to drive under these conditions.
S: You think it might be 65?
V: schaut aus dem Fenster, wo ein Schild mit einer 65 drauf am Strassenrand steht, wittert die Falle. No.
S: Have you ever been an officer?
V: ?
S: schärfer Have you ever been an officer?
V: No.
S: Well, I have been an officer for 23 years. Have you been at the site of an accident?
V: Err. No.
S: I have been. I have seen cars like yours tipped over. How fast were you going just now.
V: Err, probably something like...
S: 52 maybe?
V: Err.
S: Do you think you might have been going 52 miles an hour?
V: I guess so.
S: Would you be surprised if I told you that the speedlimit on this road is 30 miles an hour right now?
V: gulp
S: That's right. Did you see me driving along at 40 miles?
V: kleinlaut Yes.
S: Did that make you think?
V: unverständlich
S: When I was flashing my lights at you? Did that give you any ideas?
V: stammelnd Err, I didn't, wasn't, I thought, err. No.
S: Nickt zufrieden That's quite obvious. You know why we close this road? It's because of people like you in big SUVs, who think they are safe. Caltrans wanted us to reopen the pass, because it has been closed for so long.
V: guckt wie ein Schaf I didn't see any signs.
S: nickt grimmig Yes, they're all snowed over. pausiert kurz If I gave you a ticket not, it's for dangerous driving. That's 300 dollars.
V: guckt wie eine Schafherde
S: Did I make a point?
V: Mäh!
S: Excuse me?
V: Yes. A whole bunch of points, actually.
S: I hope so. We don't want to see you hurt, or your lady, or other people. Gibt den Führerschein zurück. Obey the speedlimit.
V: Yes. I will. Have a good night. Steigt aus und stapft durch den Schnee zurück zum SUV.


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